Many people ask what to do to prepare for the first anniversary of their loved one’s death. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to grief, but I do have some tips.
Self Care
First of all, for most people, it is not a single day that is the trigger of remembrance. It is a season. A season of “at this time last year, he was still with us,” or “at this time last year, we were in the hospital.” Be mindful of that fresh grief. Go back to the very intentional self-care that you needed to do in the initial shock of the loss. Remind yourself to eat something healthy, rest, and exercise. And be gentle (not judgmental) of your fresh emotions. You are not going backwards in your healing journey. Grief is never a straight line, and it is normal for these special dates and memories to hit like a big wave.
Plan. Back Up Plan.
Talking about anniversary plans is the first step in preparation. Just thinking about and anticipating what the day might be like for you is a way to take control back from any potential triggers. Planning helps take control of the day, instead of the day controlling you. Have a plan, but also give yourself permission to say no when the day arrives. Plan. Back-up plan. Most people say the anticipation of the day was harder than getting through the day itself.
Include Others, but You Do You
Talk about it with the people who matter
(might take some compromise, but ok to do what you know you need – not what others say would be good for you). Only you know what is “best for you.” For you, do you think you’ll be more comfortable including everyone? Will it be nice to feel the support of others and hear their stories? Or would you prefer a more private, intimate day? There is no right answer, and it is ok to assert your needs.
Just Get Through This Year
Don’t get caught up in creating a new tradition. You just need to get through this year, this day. Focus on what you need for self-kindness and what might be something that honors your loved one’s memory.
Honor Their Memory
In considering an activity to honor your loved one, you could eat their favorite meal, go to a space that reminds you of them (doesn’t have to be their final resting place, but that is one idea), or play their favorite music. You could do something charitable in their memory, something meaningful to their life.
Reward Yourself for All You Have Done This Year
You are entering the second year. Set new goals for yourself. The first year was all about resilience, and you did it! Some people will say the second year is harder (shame on them – those are the same people who tell horror stories about childbirth when you are 9 months pregnant). Know that it is, in fact, different.
Sometimes it feels as if the support from others drops off. It is not that they have forgotten, but they don’t have you at the top of their mind anymore, as life is happening for everyone. Some people describe the second year as the year the fog is gone. And, while you may have hated the fog, it did provide a little cushion. You are now “raw-dogging” it. But you learned a lot this year. Triggers don’t sneak up on you quite like they used to. You know who you can lean on and who might say something stupid. You learned some tools to handle the tough moments. Take confidence in all that you have accomplished. You’ve got this!
Start Grief Counseling in Ohio and Kentucky
The first year of grief can feel overwhelming — and the anniversary of your loss may bring up emotions you didn’t expect. Whether you’re navigating fresh waves of sadness or learning how to honor your loved one’s memory, compassionate support can make all the difference. If you are ready to take the first step in your healing journey, reach out to a caring therapist who understandings the complexities of grief today. You can start your therapy journey with Thrive Therapy Inc. by following these simple steps:
- Book a free 15-minute consultation call.
- Meet with a caring therapist
- Start honoring your grief while building tools to care for your well-being!
Other Services Offered by Thrive Therapy Inc.
At Thrive Therapy Inc., we understand that healing is rarely linear and that many individuals experience more than one mental health challenge at a time. That’s why we offer a range of supportive services beyond grief counseling. Other services offered include therapy for trauma and PTSD, therapy for sexual assault survivors, therapy for first responders, and childhood trauma survivors. We also offer a variety of in-person and online therapy services to support you. You can learn more by visiting our FAQ or blog pages today.